The South Bank of the Thames, westwards towards Surrey

Now for our fourth and final journey:

This is going to be a tough one! You’ve climbed Kilimanjaro bare footed and crossed the Atacama Desert without a water bottle? A walk in the park, mate! I’ve tried my best to prepare you, we’ve encountered talking rivers and had a bit of a wobble as we contemplated the horror of Heathrow, but nothing compares to the abominations that we will encounter on our walk from Waterloo to Surrey. If you doubt your mettle then turn back now, and sit this one out in the “The Fire Station” 50 Waterloo Rd, by Waterloo Station. Another “Safe in their hands” public safety initiative by our Tory government!

You want to continue? Ok, but don’t say that I didn’t warn you!

We came this far, so we go together. All the way! We’ll take you up there, we’ll go with you…

Apocalypse Now

Just 5 min (0.2 mile)  to our first stop, walk south-east on Waterloo Bridge, take the stairs down onto Upper Ground, continue onto Belvedere Rd, our first destination is on your right:

4.1   Queen Elizabeth Roof Garden Bar, South Bank Centre, Belvedere Rd, Lambeth,          SE1 8XX

A hidden gem of a place up a couple of flights of ugly concrete stairs, created in 2011 to celebrate the Festival of Britain’s 60th anniversary, this peaceful space atop Queen Elizabeth Hall is an oasis in central London. One of London’s best kept secrets, it lets you relax among wildflowers, fruit trees and allotments with beautiful views of the Thames and London skyline. Reasonably-priced drinks and food – and a Finnish sauna!

It’s 21 min (1.1 miles) to our next stop, turn left onto Queen’s Walk, as you walk under Hungerford Bridge, keep an eye open for the Hop Locker– a popup container bar, it’s open all summer until September, then reappears in the Southbank Centre Market as a winter popup. Continue south and our destination will be on your right:

4.2          Tamesis Dock, Albert Embankment, Lambeth, SE1 7TP

Tamesis Dock is a beautiful brightly painted green and yellow 1933 Dutch-built barge. After many years on the Seine it is now permanently moored between Lambeth & Vauxhall Bridge. Formerly known as Rock the Boat and The English Maid, it is now used as a neighbourhood bar, live music & events space. With great views of the Houses of Parliament, Tamesis has a relaxed, fun & friendly personality.

 

 He was close, real close. I couldn’t see him yet, but I could feel him, as if the boat were being sucked upriver and the water was flowing back into the jungle.

Apocalypse Now

Just 3 min (0.2 mile) south on Albert Embankment and our destination will be on the left:

4.3          The Rose, 35 Albert Embankment, Lambeth, SE1 7TL

Formerly the Crown Tavern, this is a traditional Victorian Pub dating from 1881 with  views across the Thames to the Houses of Parliament . The interior plays with both old and new design features, including an interesting bespoke circular bar, chandeliers and vintage furniture.

Only 9 min (0.5 mile) south on Albert Embankment, which becomes Riverside Walk and our destination will be on the left:

4.4          The Riverside, Hamilton House, 5 St George Wharf, Vauxhall SW8 2LE

And so, the horror begins! The following is a photo of the Nine Elms Cold Store, which occupied the site before the St George Wharf development:

It had a utilitarian brutalist simplicity and it may have made the cubists excited, but most of us would agree that its architectural merit was close to zero. It could therefore be argued that it would take a great deal of architectural skill to produce a building with less architectural merit. If  that was their design brief, then we must concede that the Broadway Malyan Architectural Practice excelled themselves! It has twice won the Architects’ Journal’s ‘Worst Building in the World Award’ and was a finalist for the inaugural ‘Building Design Carbuncle Cup. Clearly designed for foreign buy to let investors with more money than taste, it might have been acceptable in Guangdong, Abu Dhabi, or Sochi:

But, for the avoidance of doubt, this is what a residential riverside development in a top European capital city is supposed to look like:

Île Saint-Louis, 75004 Paris, taken from Quai de la Tournelle, late summer 2014

Of course, the great benefit of drinking in the Riverside is that you can sit on the terrace with your back to the ghastly edifice and look at the Thames instead!

If you’re feeling squeamish, then this is your last chance to bail out, just jump the train from Vauxhall back to Waterloo and spare yourself!

No, you’re sure? OK then, on we go!

We could not understand because we were too far and could not remember, because we were travelling in the night of first ages, of those ages that are gone, leaving hardly a sign — and no memories.

Heart of Darkness

I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn’t even know it yet.

Apocalypse Now

Walk 10 min (0.5 mile) south-west on St George Wharf, left onto Riverside Walk, and our destination will be on the left:

4.5         The Nine Elms Tavern, Riverlight Quay, Nine Elms Lane, Battersea, SW8 5BP

A modern and exciting Young’s pub, the Nine Elms Tavern is a feat of futuristic design with glass panels spanning the height of the building, juxtaposed with up-cycled timber and tiles. The effect is a laid-back and stylish space which makes use of the natural scenes that surround it. A variety of areas available for you to drink, dine and relax in, including a big, beautiful outdoor terrace. For large groups, the ‘upper deck’ is the place to be and boasts great views of the river.

Yes but, now you can see it, this is what I have been warning you about!

Part of me was afraid of what I would find and what I would do when I got there. I knew the risks, or imagined I knew. But the thing I felt the most, much stronger than fear, was the desire to confront him..

Apocalypse Now

Sir Giles Gilbert Scott’s Battersea Power Station, one of the few remaining examples of the brick cathedral style, comprises of two individual power stations, built in two phases in the 1930s, and ‘50s to a nearly identical design, providing the long-recognized four-chimney layout. It ceased generating electricity in 1983, but remains one of the best-known landmarks in London and is Grade II listed. The station’s celebrity owes much to numerous popular culture references, which include the cover art of Pink Floyd’s 1977 album, Animals:

It is one of the largest brick buildings in the world and was noted for its original, lavish Art Deco interior fittings and decor. Once the beating heart of London, it not only powered our capital city, it also provided heat to the Pimlico District Heating Undertaking (PDHU), a district heating scheme connected to 3,256 homes, 50 business premises and 3 schools. The site was listed on the 2004 World Monuments Watch by the World Monuments Fund. Despite this, Scott Brownrigg’s hideous purple Chelsea Bridge Wharf flats had already done terrible damage to the power station’s setting:

But the Circus West development designed by Simpson Haugh & Partners obscures the very thing it was supposed to preserve, resembling an enormous pile of ice cubes looming above and stretching either side of our beloved power station. It pulls off the extraordinary feat of making the biggest brick building in the whole of Europe look small. With its cranked plan, it literally wraps itself around our national treasure, not so much a monstrous carbuncle on the face of a much-loved and elegant friend, more a noose around the neck of a close relative!

By the time it is finished, the overall effect will be of an urban jungle encroaching on the last temple of a long-lost civilisation.

The heads. You’re looking at the heads. Sometimes he goes too far. He’s the first one to admit it.

Apocalypse Now

How Wandsworth Council ever allowed it to be built beggars belief, did they take a bung? Are they incompetent? Or, did they just not care?  Why was this allowed to happen? Why did we allow this to happen? Where was Prince Charles when we needed him? Yes, your Royal Highness, I am aware that Battersea is south of the river, that’s why it’s going to spoil the view from your side of the river!

I found this fantastic beer on draft in a wine bar in Bishops Stortford:

Maybe we could persuade them to serve it as a guest ale in the Nine Elms Tavern, then, like neo-Jacobites, we could toast our very own “Bonnie Prince Charlie”, our future “King across the water”, who saved Chelsea Barracks, but abandoned Battersea to the barbarians!

 

Charlie don’t surf!

Apocalypse Now

The song “Charlie Don’t Surf” features on the Clash’s 1980 album “Sandinista!”:

Charlie don’t surf and we think he should

The Clash

London has only been sacked twice, firstly by Boadicea in 61 AD and lastly by Halfdere the Viking in 867 AD (there is no evidence that the Saxons sacked London). Yes, there was an unfortunate incident on Sunday the 2nd September 1666 involving the hapless baker, Thomas Farriner of Pudding Lane, but it’s generally accepted that the Great Fire of London was accidental. Therefore, despite the Luftwaffe and subsequent terrorists, no one has done more deliberate damage to London than the Royal Institute of British Architects (RIBA) since the Vikings! Why do architects disrespect London so much? More pertinently, why don’t Londoners object more than we do? The RIBA even have the audacity to have their headquarters in London – at 66 Portland Place in Marylebone –  in an elegant art deco 1930s Grade II listed traditional building!

Why don’t Londoners picket their headquarters? Why haven’t we shut down Portland Place? Whose city is this, anyway?

Our next destination is 42 min (2.0 miles) along the Thames path through Battersea Park, past the Buddhist Pagoda and onwards;

as we progress,  we pass the delightful and elegant  St Mary’s Church, built in 1777 and a   Grade I listed building.

Then it gets worse again, as we pass under Battersea Railway Bridge, we see the horrendous Lombard Wharf Flat Complex at 12 Lombard Rd, known locally as the Richard M. Nixon Memorial Building (It looks like a crooked dick):

 

We penetrated deeper and deeper into the heart of darkness.

Heart of Darkness

Our next destination is on the left:

4.6          The Crystal Bar, Hotel Rafayel, 34 Lombard Rd, Wandsworth SW11 3RF

To be perfectly honest, I wouldn’t normally be seen dead in a place like this, some people even stay the night, but you wouldn’t dare sleep, in case you woke up without your soul.

Nevertheless, after that trauma, I need a pint, and the view of the river is good from here.

I used to think if I died in an evil place, then my soul wouldn’t be able to make it to Heaven. But now? … I don’t care where it goes, as long as it ain’t here.

Apocalypse Now

14 min (0.7 mile) to the next so let’s move on as quickly as we can, right onto Bridges Ct, then left onto Clove Hitch Quay, then follow the Thames path and our destination is on the left:

4.7          The Waterfront, Baltimore House, Juniper Drive, Battersea. SW18 1TS

Another new pub from Youngs, offering a beautiful dining space as well as an expansive outdoor terrace. They serve fresh, seasonal, British food sourced from around the South East of England and a fantastic range of London brewed craft beers and London distilled spirits along with fine wines and classic cocktails.

This stretch of the river is known as Battersea Reach:

Grey and Silver: Old Battersea Reach, 1863 by James McNeill WHISTLER

Whistler’s depiction of the river as a site of industry rather than leisure and his use of a gray and brown palette – emphasizing the fog of pollution – align these early scenes with paintings of the avant-garde Realist movement that featured views of workers and their environments. Whistler’s haze creates a soft, diffused atmosphere. Although smudged and blurred, some of the buildings depicted on the Battersea can be identified. The smoking chimneys belong to Morgan’s Patent Plumbago Crucible Company’s Works. Down the river, toward the horizon, is the Battersea Railway Bridge, which opened in 1863.

Just 4 min (0.2 mile) until our next pint, walk south-west on Juniper Dr, turn right onto Pier Terrace, slight left onto Jews Row, and our destination will be on the right:

4.8         The Ship, 41 Jews Row, Wandsworth, SW18 1TB

The Ship has been providing warm hospitality, fine ales and seasonal British food to the residents of Wandsworth since 1786. It used to be at the end of an industrial estate next to the municipal waste transfer station where South London’s rubbish was transferred into open barges, towed down the river and dumped in landfill sites at Mucking (!!) in Essex. The stench used to be awful, especially in summer. It is now a gastropub with a wood-burning stove, riverside terrace and outdoor barbecue kitchen and surrounded by “high-end residential” developments. I’m not totally convinced that redevelopment has been an improvement.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

Apocalypse Now

26 min (1.3 miles) south-west on Jews Row, right towards Nickols Walk, then the Thames Path takes you away from the river onto Smugglers Way, continue across the River Wandle and Bell Lane Creek then the path turns right back to the river and left towards our destination:

 4.9         The Boathouse, 32 Brewhouse Ln, Putney SW15 2JX

A modern three floor pub in the Putney wharf development, the Boathouse is a spectacular place to drink and dine whatever the season.  You can watch the ebb and flow of the Thames, and when the sun goes down the candles are lit and there is a relaxed, warm atmosphere. Upstairs is the river view restaurant with its stunning balcony, specialising in fish, with lobster  on Fridays.

I suggest that we miss the Wetherspoons next door and reconvene on Putney Bridge. Yes, I know we took casualties back there in the soulless jungle, we lost some good people, but those of us who survived are stronger for the experience. Let’s walk half way across the bridge and look back at what we have walked through.

Terminate with extreme prejudice.

Apocalypse Now

Imagine if we could pluck Marlon Brando out of the jungles of ‘Nam, stand him next to us and show him what we have done to the Battersea and Wandsworth riverfronts. I know exactly what he would say:

 The horror… the horror…

Apocalypse Now

 

The time has come to part company with Kurtz, as we metaphorically push his boat back downstream, the brown current running swiftly out of the heart of darkness, bearing his corpse down towards the sea of inexorable time with his dying words;

The horror… the horror…

Heart of Darkness

echoing through our minds from the day Conrad first wrote them in 1899 to this. Kurtz’s final judgment on his life has created an impressive legacy; we will ponder Kurtz’s words for eternity. By turning himself into an enigma, Kurtz has achieved the ultimate; he has ensured his own immortality!

Well that’s enough of that, if we turn around and cross the bridge we can see the next two pubs, almost side by side. I think we’ll get on better without Kurtz. To be honest, I thought he was a bit of a bore, and he never stood his round. Opening his wallet, staring into the abyss and declaring, “The horror, the horror!” I accept that there might not be many ATMs on the banks of the Congo or Mekong, but he never seemed to realise that we’re in London, did he? Enough of Kurtz, I need a pint!

without feeling… without passion… without judgment… without judgment! Because it’s judgment that defeats us.

Apocalypse Now

 

4.10          The Star and Garter, 4 Lower Richmond Rd, Putney, SW15 1JN

Riverside pub in a stunning spot of natural beauty, nestled on the banks of the River Thames overlooking Putney Bridge at the starting point for the Oxford v Cambridge Boat Race, this venue has served the people of Putney for over 140 years. Good food, including charcuterie boards and cheese from a walk-in cheese room.

and just next door but four:

4.11        The Duke’s Head, 8 Lower Richmond Rd, Putney SW15 1JN

A grand Victorian grade II listed Boathouse-style pub and restaurant by the river for early evening drinks, to watch the world go by, or a light lunch or hearty Sunday roast, a local’s favourite for nearly 150 years. It is also a muster point for former students from the “boaty” universities – Oxford, Cambridge & Durham, who always seem surprised when they see each other – hardly a surprise, you’ve all been coming here for decades!

The towpath, Putney 1904 by Tom ROBERTS

A Turneresque  oil on canvas, with a deliciously milky wash, filled with whites and creams and greys. The bridge in the background is almost lost in the fog with solitary figures by the river, one working at a boat and the other gazing across the waters. It’s a beautifully immersive landscape, wonderfully rendered and capturing a moment in time by the Thames.

The long stretches of the waterway ran on, deserted, into the gloom of overshadowed distances.

Heart of Darkness

It’s a brisk 39 min (2.0 miles)  to the next, follow the Thames path to Beverley Brook, then turn left across Putney Lower Common, passing the Rocks Lane Multi Sport Centre on your right, cross Barnes Common, then Barnes Green, and with Barnes Pond on your right, turn left down Barnes High Street until we rejoin the Thames at Lonsdale Road with our destination on the right:

4.12        The Bulls Head, 373 Lonsdale Rd, Barnes SW13 9PY

A buzzing neighbourhood pub with live jazz gigs every night for nearly 60 years now (why don’t I live in Barnes?) Named as one of the top 12 venues which made the most important contribution to live jazz in the UK, the renovated Jazz Room recreates the special atmosphere of the old iconic jazz clubs of the past, where the stage and the audience are close enough to share an immediate intimacy as the musicians perform.

It’s just 11 min (0.6 mile) south-west on The Terrace/A3003, turn right onto Ship Ln:

 4.13        The Ship, 10 Thames Bank, Mortlake SW14 7QR

The Ship, a traditional London pub in Mortlake was built in 1781, and is famous for its location on the finishing line of the Oxford/Cambridge Boat Race. Located at the end of Ship Lane off the Lower Richmond Road, to the rear of the Budweiser Brewery, the Ship is set back off the river. Features include an open fire, timber floor and beer garden.

Now for a 26 min (1.3 miles) along Thames Bank, turn right at Williams Ln, continue onto Kew Green, our last two destinations are set well back from the river:

4.14        The Greyhound, 82 Kew Green, Richmond TW9 3AP

An independent, family-run pub overlooking Kew Gardens, serving brunches, sandwiches, Sunday roasts plus garden area. Perfect for the whole family – even the dog – boasts a lovely beer garden to spend your time in during those warm summer nights with private, seated, and covered booths.

Finally,  walk south-east on Kew Green and across the south circular to the Surrey side to our final destination:

 4.15        The Cricketers, 79 Kew Green, Richmond TW9 3AH

Wood beams and tartan fabrics adorn this stylish spot by the green, serving European gastropub fare.

So, after 58 pubs and about the same number of miles walked, we end our epic journey in Surrey. With a resident population of 1.1 million, Surrey is the most densely populated and third most populous county in the South-East region. However, it is rumoured that less than half the population is actually human. Whilst this may be a slight exaggeration, Surrey is an alien county with more than its fair share of androids and replicants. In the novel “The War of the Worlds” (1897), when the Martians decide to take over our planet, they chose to start with Surrey. What was HG Wells trying to tell us about Surrey? But we didn’t come all this way to talk about Surrey, that would be boring, so finish your pint and let’s walk back up to Kew Bridge and talk about London.

It’s not as buzzing as Shanghai (I will blog Shanghai if I ever get the opportunity to return!), not as beautiful as Paris,

(See: https://nicholasjcoxinparis.wordpress.com )

nor as friendly as Warsaw,

(See: https://nicholasjcoxinwarsaw.wordpress.com) ,

and infuriatingly, it could be so much better than it actually is; but despite Heathrow Airport, the RIBA, the property developers, the buy to let investors, Wandsworth Council, and all the other things that annoy us and make are lives more difficult than necessary, London is, and has been since the fall of Constantinople (29 May 1453), the greatest city in the world!

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.

Samuel Johnson,  20 September 1777

 With a population of some nine million, there are about as many Londoners as the combined populations of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. But in the real world it’s not people that count, its money. So, let’s count the money:

With £534,821 million per annum, London has twice the GDP of all the other devolved regions combined but is given a fraction of the autonomy. If London was an independent city state, then post Brexit it would be the 6th largest economy in the EU, just below the Netherlands. So come on Sadiq Khan, declare UDI from the Little Englanders and allow London to take its rightful place as the capital city of Europe!

OK, that’s me done, you’ve been great company, but it’s time for me to go home, so let’s form a line on the eastern footpath across Kew Bridge, face eastwards back towards London, and if we all stand on tip toes and look very carefully, we will see them all – nine million hearts beating in the darkness!

As for the charges against me, I am unconcerned. I am beyond their timid lying morality, and so I am beyond caring.

Apocalypse Now

 

“We have lost the first of the ebb,” said the Director suddenly. I raised my head. The offing was barred by a black bank of clouds, and the tranquil waterway leading to the uttermost ends of the earth flowed sombre under an overcast sky — seemed to lead into the heart of an immense darkness.

Heart of Darkness

The north bank of the Thames, westwards towards Middlesex

Now for our third journey:

Exit Waterloo bridge from the north west, go down the stairs, turn right onto Victoria Embankment, and after 14 min (0.7 mile) our destination will be on the left:

3.1         Tattershall Castle, Victoria embankment, Whitehall, London SW1A 2HR

A former passenger ferry with pub food and drinks, moored on the Thames with views of the London Eye. Regular entertainment including live Jazz every first Wednesday of the month. Usually crowded and very touristy, don’t expect to meet any local Westminster residents on board!

11 min (0.6 mile) to the next one, walk south on Victoria Embankment then take a detour past the Palace of Westminster. Sir Charles Barry’s scaffolded and crumbling Gothic pile is a perfect metaphor for the current state of British democracy, it reminds me of one of the slogans from the 1968 Paris uprising:

“Pas de replâtrage, la structure est pourrie.”  (No replastering, the structure is rotten.)

It contains at least nine bars, but you need to be accompanied by a passholder to get served. If you can’t blag your way into a bar, just book a table in the restaurant which is open to the public on a reservations only basis:

http://www.parliament.uk/dining

Continue south on Abingdon St then onto Millbank, and our destination will be on the right:

3.2         The Morpeth Arms, 58 Millbank, Westminster, London SW1P 4RW

Built in 1845 to refresh prison warders from the adjacent Millbank Penitentiary,  this roomy and comfortable Grade II listed pub is festooned with etched and cut glass mirrors, paintings, prints and old photographs. It faces the Thames with views of the MI6 headquarters from an upstairs room themed on Mata Hari, the 1920s secret agent and exotic dancer. Beneath the pub is a corridor of holding cells rumoured to be haunted. Prisoners were kept here whilst waiting to board convict ships to Australia –  The term POM refers to Prisoner of Millbank! This is my favorite pub in Pimlico with friendly staff, good draft beer and excellent food. It has a good locals atmosphere, with not too many tourists. Dogs are allowed downstairs, I’ve taken mine on several occasions!

 

Just 5 min (0.2 mile) to the next one, walk south-west on Millbank and our destination will be on the right:

3.3         The Grosvenor, 79 Grosvenor Rd, Pimlico, London SW1V 3LA

Located above the culverted Tyburn River, the present pub dates from the 1920s and offers a relaxed atmosphere, with well-kept ales, reasonably priced pub food including good Thai curries, and friendly staff. There are tables out the front and a secluded beer garden behind. A large whisky mirror declares its former name, the Spread Eagle. They have pianos and live Jazz on Thursdays including performances from Chelsea art college students. The tourists might not have found it, but the local folk have a decent boozer to hand!

Please note that the King William IV at 110-111 Grosvenor Road closed towards the end of 2017, maybe to reopen in early 2019. An application to change the use to A1 / A2  (retail / office) was refused by Westminster Council. The pub dates from the 1850s and was rebuilt in 1880; it has kept its striking Victorian green tiled exterior but sadly there are no original features inside.

There is something of a beer desert ahead of us, the next five and a half miles of prime Chelsea / Fulham river frontage contains only one pub (modern). This highlights how London has turned its back on its river. This area should be alive with boardwalks, piers, floating bars, pop up street food stalls etc. Clearly the rich burghers of Chelsea don’t want beer drinkers spoiling their river views, but it’s not their river, its ours and its high time we reclaimed it!

It’s a pleasant walk, but if you’re only here for the beer, double back to Pimlico tube, change at Victoria, get off at Hammersmith and we’ll catch you up in the Crabtree, otherwise, follow me! It’s, 48 min (2.4 miles) so let’s start yomping, west on Grosvenor Rd, onto Cheyne Walk, but do stop to admire Albert Bridge  on your left, at night it’s illuminated by 4,000 bulbs (replaced by LEDs in 2010 /11), making it the most striking landmark in the area:

and Crosby Hall on your right. Built in 1466, it originally stood in Bishopsgate, in the City of London, but was moved to its present site in 1910:

Now turn left onto Lots Rd, passing the 606 Jazz Club on your right and the Lots Road (Chelsea) Power Station on your left. Built end-on to the Thames, on the north bank of the tidal Chelsea Creek, construction started in 1902 and it became operational in February 1905. At the time it was  the largest power station ever built, and powered most of the trams and the London Underground.

It is currently being redeveloped into the new Chelsea Waterfront:

As we cross Chelsea Creek onto Chelsea Harbour Dr, we leave Chelsea and enter Fulham, then right onto Harbour Ave, right onto Thames Path, and our destination is on the left:

3.4         The Waterside, The Boulevard, Imperial Wharf, London SW6 2SU

A modern Youngs pub in the Imperial Wharf development dating from 2009, the Waterside commands an enviable position on the bank of the river for you to kick back, relax and enjoy! Unfortunately the view across the river is spoilt by the appalling architecture on the other side – this topic will be explored in detail in my next post!

It’s an even longer walk to our next pub, 1 h 3 min (3.2 miles), just follow the Thames Path, the large concrete jetty in the river on your left and the Fulham Big Yellow Self Storage warehouse on your right across William Morris Way are all that remains of Fulham Power Station.  Built in 1901, it had four chimneys like Battersea, but they were inline. It was unloved by the public and incompetently demolished in 1983, the Health and Safety Executive ordered work to stop when asbestos levels in the air exceeded safe limits.

The Thames Path stops just before Wandsworth Bridge and your phone sat nav will take you away from the river so follow Broomhouse Lane, past the Hurlingham Club, past Putney Bridge, Fulham Palace, Bishops Park and Craven Cottage, keeping to the Thames Path as much as possible, until you reach our destination on the left:

3.5         The Crabtree, Rainville Rd, London W6 9HA

A posh Victorian boozer with a country feel in its tree-filled riverside garden

situated on a quiet and picturesque stretch of the Thames.

The seats under the weeping willow deserve a special mention:

A relaxed lounge bar housed beneath a huge high-vaulted ceiling with beautiful views of the river framed by weighty wooden tables, paintings, and old photos of pre-war Fulham. There is a restaurant bathed in white linen at the rear. The Crabtree has an open, friendly feel that makes everyone feel welcome.

Just, 8 min (0.4 mile) to the next, walk north on Rainville Rd, turn left onto Thames Path, our destination will be on the right:

3.6         The Blue Boat, Distillery Wharf, Parr’s Way, London W6 9GD

Airy, modern riverside Fuller’s pub opened in March 2015 with a large terrace area and outside seating to catch stunning sunsets from the spacious patio next to the river.

But there must have been a pub on this site before because I remember the view across the river from here long before 2015.

Inside there is an open-plan kitchen, with dining areas and ample drinking space around a very long zinc bar. Numerous downlighters from a high concrete ceiling illuminate black and oak wood finishes, white tiles, and display cabinets of nautical artefacts. In 2016 the pub was runner-up in the Fuller’s Griffin Trophy Best London pub category.

Capability Brown used to live near here:

As did his girlfriend:

Just 5 min (0.3 mile) to the next pub, follow the Thames Path under Hammersmith Bridge, and our destination will be on the right:

3.7         The Blue Anchor, 13 Lower Mall, London W6 9DJ            

A paneled 18th-century inn  serving local real ales and offering a warm and sociable atmosphere. There is a collection of artefacts from the First World War. The upstairs ‘River Room’ is a popular venue with great views. The Blue Anchor was first licensed in 1722, when George 1st was King of England and Louis XV was on the Throne of France. Gustav Holst was a frequent visitor, and composed his Hammersmith Suite here.

The next one is next door but one:

 3.8 The Rutland Arms, 15 Lower Mall, London W6 9DJ

Established in 1849 and rebuilt in its present form in 1870, it was damaged in the Second World War and lost its top floor and balcony. The Rutland displays an inn sign of two unicorns with the motto, Pour Parvenir (for the wayfarer). It has a smart lounge bar and a dining area at the rear. Rowing sculls are suspended from the ceiling and there is a first-floor balcony bar for functions. Bench seats at the front give a good view of the river. Famous for being in the opening title sequence of the TV series Minder.

Just 4 min (0.2 mile) to the next:

 3.9 The Dove, 19 Upper Mall, Hammersmith, London W6 9TA

A Grade II listed public house dating from the early 18th century where Charles II and Nell Gwynne once dined, and James Thompson wrote the words to the 1740 song “Rule Britannia”!

The front bar of the pub is listed in the Guinness book of Records as the smallest public bar in the United Kingdom.

Once the best of the Hammersmith riverside pubs, it reeks of tradition. A quartet of stubby, stocky, brass-trimmed traditional beer hand pumps at the bar  hail from another era.

It offers the chance to soak up a sense of history, drink good beer and watch time and the river pass by.  I used to come here often in the 1980s, the adjacent parking is unrestricted and the riverside terrace used to be a magnet for practitioners of the ancient English art of standing upright and drinking beer at the same time – who says men can’t multitask? But in the era of the gastropub, they have seen fit to build a conservatory over our sacred terrace:

Is it still the best pub in Hammersmith? It may be sacrilege, but I must admit that I might prefer the Blue Boat!

It is just 6 doors to the next one:

 3.10 The Old Ship W6, 25 Upper Mall, Hammersmith, London W6 9TJ

This historic Young’s pub has been providing a great place for Hammersmith’s punters to enjoy a drink by the river ever since 1722. This grand old building is said to resemble a Roman villa and the riverside terrace out the front is a great place to take in the views of the Thames. But unfortunately it was closed for refurbishment when I tried to visit:

However, after months of work, it’s now re-opened its doors as a totally transformed pub, with a focus on  cask-conditioned beers, indulgent brunch dishes, full-bodied wines and a seasonal dining menu.

It’s top of my “to do” list the next time I’m in Hammersmith. A Ramrod and Special? It would be a crime not to!

OK, it’s just another 3 min (0.2 mile) to the next:

 3.11 The Black Lion, 2 S Black Lion Ln, Hammersmith, London W6 9TJ

Low-ceilinged, traditional pub with mock tudor plastering, tartan upholstery, open fires, and riverside beer garden.

History abounds at this wonderful pub – ghost stories, local history and what ‘The Black Lion’ really meant, made famous in literature and the location of a world famous skittle alley.

A hub of the local community and a warm and welcoming pitstop for tourists and passers by. The Black Lion combines the tradition of a classic English pub with lots of dogs and children adding to the bobo atmosphere – they even had an extended French family when we visited!

As we move on, do stop to visit the Fuller’s brewery; The Griffin Brewery, Chiswick Ln, Chiswick, London W4 2QB. Why not book a tasting tour online?

https://www.fullers.co.uk/brewery

You can have a whale of a time if you visit the brewery:

It’s a long 1 h 7 min (3.4 miles) to our next pub, this is the third long pub free stretch on this journey which is rather tiresome. The Thames path is signposted but it takes you away from the river for long stretches so at times it doesn’t feel like either a pub crawl or a river side walk.

Consolations include some very attractive low rise residential developments as you leave Hammersmith, the peace and solitude as you pass through Dukes Meadows – a huge area of sports fields and rowing clubs, and the rather surreal flocks of parrots which are rather in keeping with the Congo / Mekong sub-themes of this blog:

 Just before you reach Kew Railway Bridge,

you’ll find our next pub on the right:

3.12 The Bulls Head, 15 Strand-On-The-Green, Chiswick, London W4 3PQ

The Bulls Head is a Grade II listed 18th century riverside inn once used by riverboat and barge captains to arrange crews and cargoes.

A plaque on the wall of the pub describes how, according to the legend, Oliver Cromwell escaped capture by Royalists through a secret tunnel to the island opposite, called Oliver’s Island. However, no evidence has been found to support the story, and the myth is believed to have grown up in the 17th century.

Then under the railway bridge and it is just, 1 min (92 ft) to our next stop:

 3.13 The City Barge, 27 Strand-On-The-Green, Chiswick, London W4 3PH

The City Barge is a historic 14th century public house, known as the Maypole Inn until 1807. The pub was partially destroyed by a bomb during World War II.  Internally, the building has retained much of the architectural detail and period fixtures and fittings, including original Victorian panelling and three open fires. A striking reclaimed nineteenth century bar provides a natural focal point for the upper level and some quirky touches including rare bird taxidermy, vintage games, and a metre-long Thames Barge. Scenes from the Beatles’ 1965 film Help! were shot here.

This pub is actually much closer to Oliver’s Island than the previous one, so if Cromwell really did escape from a pub to the island, maybe it was this one?

Just, 4 min (0.2 mile) to the next:

 3.14 The Bell & Crown, 11-13 Strand-On-The-Green, Chiswick, London W4 3PL

Licensed as the Bell & Crown by 1787, it was acquired by Fullers in 1814 and rebuilt in 1907. The pub expanded into two adjoining shops in the 1980s, with the large conservatory extension added in 1984. Rumour has it that years ago, a resident ghost used to cause havoc at the bar – turning on the beer pumps in the middle of the night!

The Strand-on-the-Green footpath is undoubtedly the most picturesque stretch of the Thames between Kew and Woolwich. With numerous imposing 18th-century houses, it is like walking onto the set of a Jane Austin film. Whenever you go into a pub you expect to see Keira Knightley taking a break between shoots!

 

Partially bricked up as a flood prevention measure, this door can’t be more than one meter (three feet) high:

If this was on an eastern stretch of the river the bike would have been nicked long ago!

After 7 min (0.3 mile), the pathway becomes a roadway, note the interesting street lighting on the grade II listed Kew Bridge:

 and the brick standpipe water tower of the London Museum of Water and Steam:

then we walk under the south circular road to our final destination:

3.15 One Over the Ait, 8 Kew Bridge Rd, Brentford TW8

A Victorian warehouse converted into a truly striking pub with visual reminders of its industrial past. Stroll through the pillarbox red doors to enter this lively place for classic pub grub and drinks. The pub is set on two floors, with panoramic views  as well as terrace seating for up to 200 customers. The lower floor features a round table with a ‘fire-pit’ at its centre. An iron spiral staircase takes you to the top floor with its own smaller bar.

So here we are in Middlesex, now entirely within the wider urbanised area of Greater London. It was established in the Anglo-Saxon era from the territory of the Middle Saxons. Gradually swallowed up by London, it became the second smallest county by area in 1831 and was abolished as an official county in 1965.

“Dear Middlesex, dear vanished country friend, your neighbour, London, killed you in the end.”

 John Betjeman (1968)

The Thames meanders south from Kew Bridge, but if you continue due west for five miles you arrive at Heston Services – which turns 50 this year – built on the site of the former Heston Aerodrome where Neville Chamberlain arrived from Munich on 30 September 1938 and made his “peace for our time speech”.

In 2017 Heston was voted the worst motorway service station in the country and you would be forgiven for thinking that this is the worst place in Middlesex, but continue westward for another four miles and you will find somewhere far worse:

Heathrow Airport originated in 1929 as the Great West Aerodrome south-east of the hamlet of Heathrow. Development began in 1944 for military aircraft, but the war ended before completion and it opened as the civilian London Airport in 1946. It has now swallowed up some five square miles (13 square kilometres) of rural Middlesex and has a life of its own, it will soon cross the county border and start encroaching into Berkshire. People protest against it, but this is as futile as protesting against the plague.

Every year some 76 million of us passed through it, understandable if this was escapees, but half that number are arrivals! Imagine the bad impression Heathrow creates in the minds of those 38 million arrivals, the decay and chaos emphasises our status as a post imperial, has been, former power. It must be like rocking up in Rome in 500AD, full of hope and excitement, only to discover that you are a hundred years too late! No self-respecting provincial Chinese city would accept an airport this bad.

The only good idea to pass through Boris’s befuddled brain was to start again and replace it in the east, but please, not on the Isle of Grain where the runways will still run east / west with planes overflying London, put it on Maplin Sands, off Foulness Island in Essex, as originally planned in the 1970s, where the runways can be orientated north / south, so that the planes avoid urban areas!

Not only is Heathrow the worst place in Middlesex, it is the worst place in Britain, but it attracts people like moths to a lamp. It is the closest you will get to hell on earth outside of a war zone. I used to know someone called Helen Bach – she should have worked out of Heathrow as a pilot or stewardess, but apparently she became a beer blogger, so maybe our paths will cross again:

http://www.allwnynews.com/2016/05/helen-bach-beer-is-science.html

Whenever I pass through Heathrow, I am reminded of the classic line from Brighton Rock (1938) by Graham Greene:

“These atheists, they don’t know nothing. Of course, there’s hell, flames and damnation,”

You don’t need faith to know this, just hop onto the Piccadilly Line out to Heathrow and like Doubting Thomas, poke your finger into the gaping side wound and believe…

That’s enough, this blog is getting out of hand already and we are only three quarters of the way through our journey! Come on you lot, back to Waterloo Bridge!

(There is a good service back to Waterloo from Kew Bridge Overground station)

“ The mind of man is capable of anything — because everything is in it, all the past as well as all the future.”

Heart of Darkness

Sunset over the Congo river

“ it must be a temptation to be God. Because there’s a conflict in every human heart, between the rational and irration, between good and evil. And good does not always triumph. Sometimes, the dark side overcomes.”

Apocalypse Now

 

The south bank of the Thames, eastwards towards Kent

OK, off we go on our second journey:

Exit Waterloo Bridge from the south east, go down the stairs, turn right and our first pub is on the right just before the end of the National Theatre:

2.1         The Understudy, Upper Ground, Lambeth, London SE1 9PX

Tucked away in a corner of the National Theatre below a brutalist concrete canopy, a casual bar with outdoor riverside seating, for a range of draught beers, wines and cocktails.

Now just follow the river eastwards for 8 min (0.4 mile),

past the OXO Tower. The Tower was originally a power station for the Post Office.  In 1928, it was bought by the manufacturers of OXO beef stock cubes, for conversion into a cold store. Much of the original power station was demolished, but the river facade was retained and extended to an art-deco design by the architect Albert Moore. The company wanted to include a tower featuring illuminated signs advertising their product but permission was refused. Instead the tower was built with four sets of three vertically-aligned windows, each of which coincidentally happened to be in the shape of a circle, a cross and a circle, spelling out OXO!

Continue towards Blackfriars Bridge:

and our next destination will be on the right:

2.2         Doggetts Coat & Badge, 1 Blackfriars Bridge, London, SE1 9UD

A 1960s brutalist concrete building, spread over multiple floors with a terrace above the Thames. For almost 300 years, there has been an amateur rowing race on the Thames, from London Bridge to Chelsea. Originally organised by Thomas Doggett, the winner was awarded a coat and badge, hence the historic origin of the pub’s name. Thomas Doggett was an actor who became manager at the Drury Lane Theatre, then the Haymarket Theatre before becoming a politician and wit (not always mutually exclusive, then?).

Continue under Blackfriars Road Bridge where there are some interesting murals

carry on following the riverside walk under Blackfriars Railway Bridge eastwards for 3 min (0.1 mile),

our next destination will be on the right:

2.3         Founders Arms, 52 Hopton St, London SE1 9JH

Modern glass-fronted pub with a large, heated patio overlooking the River Thames and St Paul’s. This is where I used to watch the helicopters land on the Blackfriars Barge Helipad –  before we had internet and smartphones to provide entertainment!

By the time we reached here the rain was so intense that I had water on my lens (not a euphemism, I promise!) so the next two photos below are substitutes:

Continue eastwards for 10 min (0.5 mile), passing the Tate Modern in the former Bankside Power Station, the Millennium Pedestrian Bridge and the reproduction of Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre. You might be able to blag a pint in the adjacent Swan Bar & Restaurant, there is a bar on the ground floor, but they only serve 330ml bottles. You could try, “Two bottles and a pint glass, please”, I’ve done it, and got away with it, but they look at you as if you have just escaped from rehab.  [ Post Blog note – I came here for lunch on 27/10/19 and I’m pleased to report that they now have a good range of draft beers served in pint glasses, moreover the views of the River and St Paul’s Cathedral are excellent!]

Our next destination will be on the right:

2.4         Anchor Bankside, 34 Park St, London SE1 9EF

Dating from 1615, this was where Samuel Pepys watched London burning in the Great Fire of 1666. Charles Dickens  lived locally when his father was locked up in the nearby Marshalsea debtors’ prison in 1824.

It used to be my secret pub, nobody else could find it! I first noticed it in 1983 when I was buying second hand office furniture from a Dickensian warehouse opposite run by a Fagin look alike following the “Only Fools and Horses” business model! It has all changed now, but this is the arch with the door through which Fagin used to run his pre-owned office furniture emporium:

Continue eastwards under Cannon street rail bridge for 3 min (0.1 mile), past Winchester Palace, a 13th-century bishops’ complex with ruins of the great hall, prison and brewhouse:

 

our next destination will be on the left:

2.5         The Old Thameside Inn, Pickfords Wharf, Clink Street, London, SE1 9DG

Atmospheric riverside pub with exposed brickwork and flagstone floors, plus large terrace with panoramic views, next to the replica of Sir Francis Drake’s galleon the Golden Hinde.

Turn away from the river here to pass Borough Market and Southwark Cathedral:

continue north east to reach the Thames. Turn right alongside the river, on the opposite bank you will see the monument to the great fire,

the spire of the thousand year old St Magnus the Martyr,

and Old Billingsgate, the former Victorian fish market restyled as an elegant hospitality complex for launches and parties. I can remember when it still operated as a fish market, I had an interview in the adjacent Tate and Lyle offices and turned down the opportunity because the place (plaice?) stunk of fish!

our destination will be on the right:

2.6         The Horniman, Hays Galleria, 18-19 Battle Bridge Ln, London SE1 2HD

A lovely pub in a former tea warehouse with interesting friezes, chandeliers, floor tiles and riverside terrace. Hay’s Galleria is also worth exploring, I really love this place, I’ve been often and it never disappoints!

People forget that the south bank between London and Tower Bridges –  The Pool of London – was part of London’s Docklands and part of the LDDC regeneration area. This is the stretch of river where the cranes were lowered in tribute to Churchill during his funeral procession up the river. Supposedly a spontaneous act – but it had been choreographed – Churchill’s funeral was on a Saturday and the unionised dockers didn’t work on Saturdays. Most of them hated Churchill but they didn’t hesitate to accept the overtime payment in return for suspending their socialist principals!

As we pass HMS Belfast on our left, keep an eye open for pop up bars on your right which appear in the summer, then past City Hall, the home of the Mayor of London and the London Assembly. It is said to resemble a glass testicle. I can’t verify this as I’ve never seen a glass testicle, but it could well be true because inside they do seem to talk a load of bollocks!

Our next destination will be on the left:

2.7         The Vault, Tower Bridge, Shad Thames, London SE1 2UP

A hidden gem, a small intimate bar with unique views, originally the vault was the coal store for the Tower Bridge engine rooms. The bridge converted from coal and steam to oil and electricity in 1976 and the vault was converted into a Garage for the “Bridge Masters” car, then converted into a gift shop which closed in 2001. In 2003 work began to convert the dingy disused space into the Vault Bar began which opened in 2007.

As we continue eastwards, I suggest that we skip the “All Bar One” and carry on to somewhere less generic, so 14 min (0.7 mile) to the next one, past Shad Thames,

our destination will be on the left:

 2.8         The Angel, 101 Bermondsey Wall E, London SE16 4NB

Now in splendid isolation in front of the remains of Edward III’s mansion on the Thames Path at the very end of Bermondsey Wall East, it is grade II listed, and dates from around 1830, incorporating parts of an earlier seventeenth century building. In 1682 The Angel was in a position diagonally opposite its present site, and was referred to by Samuel Pepys as “the famous Angel.” When we arrived it was a cold four degrees centigrade and raining but there was a strange old woman siting outside with a greyhound who said that we weren’t allowed to take photos because it was “a private pub” (as opposed to a public house?). Do they still have witches in Bermondsey?

Walk south-east,

left onto Mill St, which turns slightly right and becomes Bermondsey Wall W,

past  St Mary the Virgin Rotherhithe,

and our destination will be on the left:

2.9         The Mayflower, 117 Rotherhithe St, Rotherhithe, London SE16 4NF

Thames-side pub with small bar, upstairs restaurant and tables on wooden decking overlooking the river. On the 5^th August, 1620, the Pilgrim Fathers – men, women, and children – boarded the Mayflower near a pub called The Shippe (now the Mayflower). The Last Will and Testament of the Mayflower crew is displayed in the bar and the passenger list is on show in the restaurant upstairs. The sister ship started taking in water 100 leagues off Land’s End, requiring both ships to turn about and head for Plymouth, now credited as the starting point for the famous journey. I have an off cut from the replica, built in Devon, 1955–1956. This was my favorite pub on this journey!

Before ATMs were invented, the residents of Rotherhithe used to use these to withdraw cash from banks:

Continue eastwards for 4 min (0.2 mile) past the Brunel Museum,

then cross the Rotherhithe Street Bascule Bridge:

our next destination will be on the left:

2.10       Old Salt Quay, 163 Rotherhithe St, London SE16 5QU

A converted warehouse overlooking the Thames with beautiful views upstream towards Tower Bridge and the Shard, which confusingly appears to be on the north bank, due to the meanders in the river!

It’s an arduous 1 h 29 min (4.5 miles) to our next pub, but there are some superb views as our path weaves along the riverside, skirting the old warehouse and rice mill of Globe Wharf. Look for the Thames Path signposts until you reach Deptford Strand and the Old Rum Stores, now converted into housing, once the site of the Tudor docks of Deptford. It was here on the steps that Sir Francis Drake was knighted by Queen Elizabeth 1^st after he circumnavigated the world on the Golden Hinde.

Follow the river round to Deptford Creek, where the River Ravensbourne enters the Thames, passing Peter the Great’s statue. He lived near the Royal Dockyard in Deptford, at the home of the writer John Evelyn, for much of his four-month stay in England in 1697-98.

Crossing the Creek by the moveable road bridge, our destination will be on the right:

2.11       The Sail Loft, 11 Victoria Parade, London SE10 9FR

A modern bar on the ground floor of a riverside development in the heart of Deptford’s riverfront – The Sail Loft serves up Fuller’s cask ales,  craft beers and bespoke cocktails.

As you look back upstream, you would be forgiven for assuming that the regeneration of Deptford has been a success:

A bit generic, harmoginised, globilised and characterless, but that’s the price we have to pay for regeneration, isn’t it?

But look one block back and you realise that they haven’t regenerated Deptford at all, they have just shoehorned a glass and aluminium facade between the community and its river, this isn’t regeneration, its degeneration.  The Thames (formerly the Rose and Crown) was run by an old bloke called Dennis, it used to be part of the local community, regeneration has done nothing for them!

As we walk on past the canon we reach Greenwich:

The next landmark is the Cutty Sark, built in 1869 in Scotland, she was the fastest sailing ship of her day and the world’s last tea-clipper.

Pass Greenwich Pier, then follow the path past the Old Royal Naval College, built between 1696 and 1712 by Christopher Wren, and now part of the University of Greenwich.

It used to house JASON, a nuclear reactor installed by the Ministry of Defence and used by the Royal Navy for experimental and training purposes. It only produced 10-kilowatt of electrical output despite using weapons-grade enriched uranium 30 times more radioactive than that used in commercial reactors! It was operational from 1962 to 1996, and 270 tonnes of radioactive waste (mostly concrete and lead shielding) was removed when it was decommissioned in 1999. It was one of very few reactors operating within a major population centre – and the only one installed in a Grade I-listed 17th-century building. The existence of a nuclear reactor in central London was largely unknown to the public, allowing the left-wing local council, in a classic example of Orwellian double-think, to proclaim itself a nuclear-free zone in 1963! Below is Jason’s control panel. It had a large red ‘Scram’ button in the centre to shut down the reactor in the event of an emergency – this was  new technology at the time and prone to going wrong:

“A nuclear error, but I have no fear”

The Clash

Continue on to:

2.12       Trafalgar Tavern, 27 Park Row, London SE10 9NW

Victorian riverside pub where the Thames laps up at the windows, with cobbled outdoor drinking area and a small statue of Nelson below the steps. One of my old favourites, we used to visit often when the DLR first reached the end of the Isle of Dogs, conveniently close to the Greenwich foot tunnel, giving easy access to the Trafalgar.

Then less than 1 min, just 141 ft eastwards to:

2.13       The Yacht, 5 to 7 Crane Street, Greenwich SE10 9NP

Just next door to the Trafalgar and reached via a narrow passage around the back, this high-roofed and large-windowed pub also overlooks the Thames.

Now walk north-east, towards Crowleys Wharf, passing behind Trinity Hospital – Garden and Riverside Almshouses providing sheltered housing .

 

Immediately next door,  Greenwich Power Station towers above us, built in 1906 to power trams, it is now a back-up for London Underground. We cross the Greenwich Meridian as we walk under its massive jetty.

Our next destination is on the right:

2.14       Cutty Sark, 4-6 Ballast Quay, London SE10 9PD

Light-filled, Georgian riverside pub over 3 floors, with Thames views from the elegant dining room. This is the last “upmarket” pub on this leg of our journey. So if you want gourmet food and upmarket loos this is your last chance, after the Cutty Sark, things get “interesting”!

From here, the waterside presents an intriguing mix of industry and dereliction with factories  set amongst marine scrap yards, slipways, warehouses and wharves, and converted flats.

Do stop to admire the Pillars of the Empire, a sculpture on an old pier over the Thames. To see the sculptures it is necessary to walk through the piers when the Thames is at low tide.

Carry on along the river as the O2 Arena (originally known as the Millennium Dome) comes into view. Go right around the Arena, always keeping the Thames on the left. Walk on past the sculpture ‘Quantum Cloud’ by Antony Gormley:

the Greenwich Peninsula Ecology Park:

and the Greenwich Yacht Club:

Its bar is open on Tuesday evenings from 18:30 and weekend afternoons from 12:00 until 18:00. Interested non-members are welcome to visit. Despite all the chain bars in the O2, this is the only place on the Greenwich Peninsula where you can drink beer and look at the river at the same time!

As we leave the Greenwich Peninsula we enter a sort of “Jurassic Park”, a land that time forgot, we pass through a time warp back into the twentieth centuary. We pass aggregates depots and industrial warehousing until we reach our next destination:

2.15       Anchor & Hope, Riverside, London SE7 7SS

An old fashioned but friendly Thames-side pub in Charlton, with a riverside terrace popular with Charlton Athletic football fans but also welcoming to Thames pathway walkers. On the edge of a huge sprawling industrial estate with panoramic vistas over a “working” section of the Thames.

Turn right along a footpath heading east towards the flood barrier.

“Cause London is drowning, and I, I live by the river”

The Clash

Keep to the path beside the river until you come right up to the barrier, turn left down a few steps and then take the subway right under the control building for the barrier.

We emerge in a little park on the other side of the barrier. Note the Tate & Lyle’s refinery (which processes a million tonnes of sugar a year), a post imperial throw back, still importing sugar cane from the far reaches of our former empire.

Next we walk past the Thames Barrier Information Centre telling the story of London’s 520m wide flood defence barrier and surrounding park. It also has a Cafe with an excellent view of the barrier – but no alcohol license!

Here the path briefly leaves the river so turn south along the signed path. Cross the track and keep going on the footpath signed to the south past a car park on the right, the path joins Unity Way which becomes Eastmoor Street, passing the former “Noted Stout House”, which is now the Barrier Animal Care Clinic:

Keep to this street all the way until you meet the A206, the busy main road in the area. Turn left and follow the pavement beside the road, passing the White Horse, rebuilt in 1897 and offering B&B for £35 / night!

Past the remnants of the Woolwich Dockyard Steam Factory with its prominent chimney on Woolwich Church Street:

and the Clock House (Dockyard offices, 1783-4), the earliest surviving building on the Woolwich Dockyard site:

You continue past modern flats to the road leading to the Woolwich Ferry. The attractions of Woolwich South pretty much mirror those on the north side:

 The Woolwich Ferry South Terminal

Woolwich Foot Tunnel South Side

Woolwich Arsenal Pier

The Royal Arsenal, Woolwich – Historic armaments factory and explosives research centre for the Ministry of Defence which closed in 1994. It is now a major redevelopment area for residential and commercial buildings, but some original parts have been saved, including the Greenwich Heritage Centre which tells the story of Woolwich, including the Royal Arsenal. It contains a number of bars including:

THE DIAL ARCH, No 1 Street, Woolwich Arsenal, London SE18 6GH

 

 

As with the north side, there are no river side pubs but there is a good Italian restaurant:

Con Gusto Restaurant, 54 Number One Street, Woolwich, London SE18 6ST

But we didn’t walk all this way for pasta and chianti, did we? So, walk south towards the town centre to:

2.16       Prince Albert (also known as Rose’s), 47-49 Hare St, Woolwich,  SE18 6NE

A very old fashioned traditional boozer, welcoming, friendly to newcomers and a  selection of real ales, but the pub dog is no longer in residence.

The original lizards living in the vivarium, Reggie and Ronnie, have been superseded by Kevin:

This is London in the raw, old London, with chirpy cockneys and diamond geezers. If you read Ben Judah’s “This is London” then you would think that places like this nolonger exist but this is the exeption. Full of old boys watching the horse racing on the TV, sipping their beer and waiting for the property developers to come and destroy what is left of their community. Betrayed by the left, right and moderates, I wish I had something better to offer them – anarchy? That died as a serious political movement in the Spanish Civil War (17 Jul 1936 – 1 Apr 1939), even the punks didn’t take anarchy seriously. Maybe nihilism? At least nihilism doesn’t disappoint! Open your eyes and take a good hard stare at the mural of the Woolwich ferry at the back of the pub.

When we were in Newham the call of the Congo was quite faint, but don’t tell me that you can’t hear the mighty Mekong shouting at us now? Why don’t the locals feel the drive and determination that the Viet Cong felt? Why don’t we feel it? The Tet offensive (30 Jan 1968 – 23 Sep 1968) changed the course of the Vietnam War, don’t the locals deserve a metaphorical Tet offensive? Don’t we?

We could walk on down the river into Kent all the way to Gravesend, where Conrad’s narrator told his tale, maybe we would find a pub where the pets are named after real heroes of the people, great Kentish rebels like Watt Tyler (4 Jan 1341 – 15 Jun 1381) and Jack Cade (1420 – 12 Jul 1450), but I feel the darkness closing in, there are shadows forming where shadows shouldn’t be, maybe it’s time to return to Waterloo Bridge? We’re in luck both the river bus and DLR now serve Woolwich!

“ What greatness had not floated on the ebb of that river into the mystery of an unknown earth! . . . The dreams of men, the seed of commonwealths, the germs of empires…”

Heart of Darkness

Sunset over the Mekong River

 

“ Have you ever considered any real freedoms? Freedoms from the opinion of others… even the opinions of yourself?”

Apocalypse Now

The north bank of the Thames, eastwards towards Essex

From Waterloo Bridge to the Woolwich ferry is a 12 mile walk, which could be completed in 4 hours excluding stops, but we will be stopping!

Leaving Waterloo Bridge from the northeast side, take the stairs down to the Embankment and turn left, walk east on Victoria Embankment, beyond the silver dragons which mark the boundary of the City of London,

under the historic 18th-century Blackfriars Bridge with iron arches and stone carvings, where the Vatican banker Roberto Calvi was murdered by the mafia on 18 June 1982 (no photo as hoarded off for construction works 26/11/17). Continue under the Millennium footbridge

onto Paul’s Walk to our destination:

1.1         The Northbank Bar and Terrace, 1 Paul’s Walk, London EC4V 3QH

A modern wine bar with outdoor terrace and spectacular views of the Thames where you can sample wines, ciders, real ale, cocktails, champagne and Cornish mead.

OK, so let’s move on, the next one is close but the path is not direct: Walk east on Paul’s Walk; continue onto Broken Wharf which turns slightly right and becomes High Timber St; Turn right onto Stew Ln; and our destination is on the right:

1.2         The Pepys, Stew Lane, London, EC4V 3PT

Pub and contemporary restaurant with exposed bricks, modern art and panoramic river views. Set in a historic warehouse, this is a hidden gem in the heart of the City.

The next one is really close too, just walk north on Stew Ln; turn right onto High Timber St; turn right onto Queenhithe; then take the pedestrian underpass with interesting murals underneath Southwark Bridge;

then along Three Cranes Walk, through the waste depot at Walbrook Wharf, our destination is then straight ahead:

1.3         The Banker, Cousin Lane, London EC4R 3TE

A large Fuller’s pub with a high vaulted ceiling and exposed bricks, riverside terrace and pool tables. In the ‘80s it was called “The Bouncing Banker”, do bankers have less bounce these days?

There are unexpectedly interesting “industrial” views, given the City Of London location:

OK, off we go again: walk south on Cousin Ln;  turn right onto Allhallows Ln which  becomes Hanseatic Walk; our destination is on the left at the junction with Angel Ln:

1.4         The Oyster Shed, Angel Lane, London EC4R 3AB

Modern riverside bar with stripped floors and giant wrap-around windows which give views of  Southwark Cathedral  as well as letting in streams of light to illuminate  within.

Come on, drink up, you’re slowing us down: turn left onto Hanseatic Walk; then right onto Water Ln; right onto Lower Thames St; past the iconic Tower of London; and our destination is on the left:

1.5         The Perkin Reveller, Tower of London,  London EC3N 4AB

 There are two bars in the Perkin Reveller; one hand crafted from an antique church pulpit and topped with beautiful zinc,

the other covered in soft leather with a bar top of rich copper.

Both serve Fuller’s Frontier draught lager. This is a contemporary, casual brasserie with a fabulous river vista and setting by the Tower of London and Tower Bridge, outdoor tables and a menu of British classics.

Come on, do keep up! As you pass under Tower Bridge, you leave the City of London and enter St Katharine’s & Wapping:

Because of restricted capacity and the inability to cope with large modern ships, St Katharine Docks were the first to be closed in 1968, and were redeveloped into a marina between 1973 and 1990. It is cited as a model example of successful urban redevelopment and featured in the classic British gangster film The Long Good Friday (1980), starring Bob Hoskins and Helen Mirren.

 

Ignore the lounge bar in the grim Thistle Hotel on your left, but keep an eye open for pop up bars on the riverfront on the right

and continue north and east through the docks until you  see our next destination, right in front of you:

1.6         The Dickens Inn, 50 St Katharine’s Way,  London E1W 1LA

 The Dickens Inn is a picturesque, restyled 18th-century timber-framed warehouse pub and restaurant with balcony dining and a large garden in the heart of St Katharine’s Docks. The location and views  make it popular with tourists and therefore shunned by locals, but before it became too popular, it was one of my regular haunts.

Ok, it’s a ten minute and half mile walk to the next one: Turn south then right onto Mews St, left onto St Katharine’s Way, right onto Wapping High St, cross the roundabout and our destination is on the right:

1.7         The Town of Ramsgate, 62 Wapping High St,  London E1W 2PN

The present building dates from 1545, but the first pub on the site originated in the 1460s during the Wars of the Roses and was called The Hostel. The notorious Judge Jeffreys was caught outside as he tried to escape on a collier bound for Hamburg after the Glorious Revolution of 1688 which overthrew King James II. By 1811 it was known as The Town of Ramsgate.

Abutting the Town of Ramsgate is Wapping Old Stairs with its weathered stone staircase leading to magnificent views  from the beach of The Shard and Tower Bridge.

It’s just a three minute walk to our next pub, walk east on Wapping High St and our destination will be on the right:

1.8         The Captain Kidd, 108 Wapping High St, London E1W 2NE

Generally, 1980s theme pubs are best avoided but this one is a good example of the genre and serves excellent Samuel Smiths beer. It is named after the seventeenth century pirate William Kidd, who was executed at the nearby Execution Dock in 1701. A former coffee warehouse, developed with a nautical theme retelling the story of Captain Kidd, the layout of the pub is designed to resemble a ship’s hulk.

Just 9 minutes until our next drink, walk east on Wapping High St, turn right onto Wapping Wall and our destination will be on the right:

1.9         The Prospect of Whitby, 57 Wapping Wall, London E1W 3SH

The Prospect of Whitby in Wapping is London’s oldest riverside pub dating back to 1520. The original flagstone floor survives and the pub also has a rare pewter-topped bar as well as old barrels and ships masts built into the structure. Most areas of the pub have spectacular views over the River Thames, including the beer garden and first floor balcony and terrace. The pub was originally frequented by those involved in life on the river and sea and was a notorious haunt for smugglers, thieves and pirates. Other notable customers have been Charles Dickens, Samuel Pepys, Judge Jeffries and the artists Whistler and Turner. More recently, the Prospect was a favourite during the 1960s with celebrities and royalty. Probably the best of London’s riverside pubs, my only complaint is its popularity – London’s worst kept secret – everyone else knows it’s good too!

Let’s not hang around because its 14 minutes to the next one: Walk north-east on Wapping Wall cross the famous Shadwell Basin bascule bridge (Bascule is French for seesaw or balance),

continue onto Glamis Rd, right onto the Thames Path, and continue onto Narrow St, our destination is on the right:

1.10       The Narrow, 44 Narrow St, London E14 8DP

A Gordon Ramsay gastropub in a handsome Grade II-listed building with flagstone floor, conservatory and terrace offering panoramic waterside views matched by a modern British menu and good real ales.

Then just one minute eastwards along Narrow Street to:

1.11      The Grapes, 76 Narrow St, Poplar, London E14 8BP

Narrow downstairs bar with small Thames-side terrace and upstairs restaurant dating from 1583. In 1820 the young Charles Dickens visited his godfather in Limehouse and knew the district well for forty years. The Grapes appears, scarcely disguised, in the opening chapter of his novel “Our Mutual Friend”:

“A tavern of dropsical appearance… long settled down into a state of hale infirmity. It had outlasted many a sprucer public house, indeed the whole house impended over the water but seemed to have got into the condition of a faint-hearted diver, who has paused so long on the brink that he will never go in at all.”

Just nine minutes to the next one: Walk east on Narrow St, then slight right. We are now on the Isle of Dogs, originally known as Stepney Marsh, the name change may have been a reference to Edward III’s greyhound kennels, or simply a corruption of Isle of Ducks.

When the Daily Telegraph moved from Fleet St to the Isle of Dogs in the ‘80s, the journalists were so worried about the lack of pubs that they persuaded management to install a floating bar on a boat moored in the dock adjacent to their offices. Private Eye published an hilarious account of a hack becoming tired and emotional on the boat, suffering from turbulence whilst leaving via the gangplank, and dripping dock water and pond weed as he staggered up the road to the railway station.

Westferry Circus is an elevated roundabout serving Canary Wharf from the west. To get down to the bar, just take the stairs or lift down to the river side terrace and the bar is the last unit on the left:

1.12       28West Bar, 28 Westferry Circus, Canary Wharf, London E14 8RR

A modern disco bar under a roundabout, but  with an excellent riverside terrace, and views across the river back towards the city.

Now we need to cross the Isle of Dogs to the east side, which isn’t as easy as you think, don’t make the mistake of wandering due east onto Canary Wharf, remember that you need to stay south of the South Dock in order to get across. The way to do it is to walk south-east along the Thames Path, turn left onto Cuba St, up the stairs, turn right onto Marsh Wall, at the roundabout take the 1st exit onto Manchester Rd, then right onto Coldharbour, and our destination will be on the right:

1.13       The Gun, 27 Coldharbour, Poplar, London E14 9NS

In the ’80s and ’90s, the Gun used to look so forlorn and neglected that we never went there, but it turned out to be one of the unexpected highlights of this trip! A great Fuller’s pub serving excellent draft beer, with a superb riverside conservatory overlooking the O2.  Steeped in history, the Gun dates back to the early 18th century but took its current name from the cannon which was fired to celebrate the opening of the West India Import Docks in 1802. In the late 18th century, Lord Horatio Nelson acquired a property just up the road (still known as Nelson’s House). He would frequent The Gun and regularly meet Lady Emma Hamilton in an upstairs room (now called The River Room) for secret assignations. The Gun also has a long association with smugglers landing contraband on the site and distributing it via a hidden tunnel. To this day there is still a spy-hole in the secret circular staircase to watch out for “The Revenue Men”.

Let’s be realistic now, most of you aren’t going to make it any further today, you’ve walked six miles from Waterloo, you’re hungry, the seafood smells divine, there are real log fires burning in the grates and most of you are going to order food, a bottle of Chablis and call it a day.

To the die hard walkers, I salute you! It’s a four mile walk from here to North Woolwich, and there are no more riverside pubs. Downstream from here is what is euphemistically called a “working river”, which means a post-industrial wasteland.

I’m prepared to compromise here, its a half mile walk due north to Blackwall DLR station. From there you can take a train eastbound to Royal Albert DLR station. The track is elevated so you get a better view than walking, you’ll see the pub on the left, then when you leave the station just follow the tracks back for five minutes.

Alternatively,  call up an uber (use ‘em while you can!), keep the meter running whilst you take a selfie at the four must see attractions in North Woolwich, then get on to our last pubs:

Despite lying on the northern side of the Thames, North Woolwich was long administered as part of Kent, an anomaly imposed in the aftermath of the Norman Conquest which was not resolved until 1965 with the creation of the London Borough of Newham!

The Woolwich Ferry – London’s answer to the Mersey Ferry and great to see “integrated transport” in action (NOT!) – this is the link between two of London’s most important roads – the north and south circulars –  the free service opened in 1889, following the abolition of tolls across bridges to the west:

The Woolwich Foot Tunnel – Designed by Sir Maurice Fitzmaurice and opened on  26 October 1912, its creation owed much to the efforts of labour politician Will Crooks. The 504 metre (1,654 ft) long tunnel has been fitted with a “leaky feeder system” to permit operation of mobile phones. If you’re feeling sad and lonely and Tinder or Grinder aren’t your cup of tea, why not join the ‘Friends of Greenwich and Woolwich Foot Tunnels’ (FOGWOFT) which was established in September 2013 (See https://fogwoft.com/ ):

The North Woolwich Pier – Opposite the former North Woolwich Station, the structure is sound but the wooden decking at the north end is in poor condition with timber missing. There is a steel shelter with an asbestos roof; this has an open end onto the pier and locked gates at the other end. Within the shelter these is a small booking office that has suffered fire damage. Externally and internally the building has suffered from vandalism and graffiti.

The Royal Victoria Gardens – Created In 1850 by the entrepreneur William Holland, who escaped his creditors by leaving the park in a balloon. By 1853 it included an esplanade, bowling green, rose gardens, walks and a maze. By 1859 additional features included a long riverside terrace, a maze, gypsy’s tent, rifle gallery, large ballroom and refreshment room. There was also an Italian garden, a Chinese dancing platform and a stage beyond a lake.

Having done my bit for the North Woolwich tourist industry, I reckon I deserve a couple of pints! I had some good pubs lined up, just back from the riverfront. In 1984 I was installing an innovative heat pump project for the London Docklands Development Corporation (LDDC) on the site of what is now the DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel, 2 Festoon Way, London E16 1RH. The dockyards had only recently been closed – the dockers’ calendars were still hanging on the walls of the abandoned buildings where the Excel exhibition centre now stands. The LDDC was not popular and neither were men in suits, it really wasn’t the time or place to be venturing into pubs where you weren’t welcome. On the other hand, the custom and practice of the time was that we needed a site office for lunch time meetings, so I was sent to survey the area, and discovered Churchills, where Connaught Road turns into Albert Rd, newly built on the site of the Kent Arms. The landlord was keen to attract lunchtime business customers, and I got to know him well but one day we found it all burnt out. Years later I met the landlord in the Hoop and Toy at 34 Thurloe Pl, in South Kensington, where he explained that he had got behind with his “window insurance” and the brewery had to relocate him in a hurry! Churchills closed permanently in 1999 and has since been demolished. Our site office moved to The California at 12 Albert Road (the opposite end from Churchills) but this closed in 2007 and has now also been demolished (see photo below):

There are now just two pubs left in North Woolwich, the Royal Standard Hotel is a strip club and the Henley Arms is a dodgy locals’ local serving the housing estate. So, for our last couple of pints on this leg I’ve chosen:

1.14       The Connaught House Hotel, Lynx Way, Silvertown, London E16 1JR.

This Grade II listed historic inn was designed and built by Victorian architects Vipers and Wagstaff in 1881. The dockside ‘Connaught Tavern’ originally opened to cater for passengers disembarking from ships berthing at the Victoria Docks. However, as passenger numbers reduced the pub found itself catering more for the dock’s labourers and became a daily congregation point for those waiting to be picked for work. Derelict and boarded up for years, it has undergone refurbishment to create a hotel above the bar and since 2003, has been known as The Fox@Connaught. Unfortunately this building is now surrounded by ugly modern hotels, the worst being the Premier Inn. I’ve managed to keep it out of shot, but the effect is similar to having a photo of your grandparents photo bombed by a cartoon character in a purple tutu! Even more unfortunately, all original internal features were lost in the refurbishment.

It’s a long one and a half miles to our final destination, so I’d recommend the DLR again, unless your Uber is still in the car park outside.  Get off at Gallions Reach DLR Station and four minutes down the road you’ll find the Connaught’s twin at the other end of the Royal Albert Dock, now known as Gallions Point Marina. By the time I reached this point the light was failing, but I managed to catch a spectacular sunset over London, looking westwards back along the Royal Albert Dock:

1.15       The Reach Bar and Kitchen, Gallions Hotel, Albert Basin Way, London E16 2QS

Gallions Hotel was opened in 1883 for the Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation Company, to accommodate travellers who were halting overnight. Rudyard Kipling stayed here when he was setting off for India, and he mentions it in his novel, The Light that Failed (1890): “Is it Tilbury and a tender, or Gallions and the docks?” Ringed by a frieze of chesty plaster nymphs by the artist Edwin Roscoe Mullins, it was known as ‘the Captain’s Brothel’, until it closed 1972.  It was derelict until 1994 but this Grade II listed building has now been restored, serving a wide range of beers and ales, as well as traditional ‘pub grub’ dishes and live music on Friday nights. Restoration was too late for the interior. In 1932, when the hotel was being run by Truman’s Brewery, AG Linney wrote: ‘The interior is solid and Victorian – built to defy time almost – and there is much mahogany in its fittings.’ All of this has now been lost! Moreover, it is now surrounded by bland modern apartment blocks and the ground level raised so that the building appears to be disappearing down a sinkhole!

So, this is the end of the first leg of our journey, eastwards is Essex, the county of white handbags and matching stilettos, of Dagenham Dave and Billericay Dickie. But good things too, there’s Basildon Bond and Jamie Oliver, and if you follow the river far enough you’ll reach Southend Pier, extending 1.34 miles (2.16 km) into the Thames Estuary, it’s the longest pleasure pier in the world and gave us the closing scene to the cult ’80s (29 October 1979 to 10 March 1994) comedy series Minder – starring Dennis Waterman as Terry McCann, and George Cole as Arthur Daley:

After Southend, there is just an immense seascape that circumnavigates the earth, connecting the Thames to both the Congo and Mekong rivers. If you close your eyes and listen carefully you can hear the Congo calling. Can you hear the drums? Can you feel the heat, the humidity, the flies? Can you smell the putrid stench of decomposing hippo?

Trading steamer, Upper Congo River c.1890

 

“And this also … has been one of the dark places of the earth.”

Heart of Darkness

 

“Never get out of the boat, man….  Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right! Unless you were goin’ all the way…”

Apocalypse Now

Footnote:

I was accompanied on this leg of our journey by Huw Powell, an old friend that I had not seen for over twenty years . He saw it as a tribute to Simon Pegg, the lead character in  the film “Worlds End” (2013), who drags his reluctant buddies back to their hometown and sets out for a another stab at an epic pub-crawl that he last attempted 20 years earlier.  As they make their way toward their ultimate destination — the fabled World’s End pub — Gary and his friends attempt to reconcile the past and present. However, the real struggle is for the future when their journey turns into a battle for mankind.

Waterloo Bridge

So, you have decided to join us, that’s great! I’ve lined up four epic pub crawls which all start from Waterloo Bridge. If arriving by train into Waterloo Station, please feel free to have a “swifty” in one of my favourite muster points:

The “The Hole in the Wall”, 5 Mepham St, SE1

A bustling hangout under railway arches with cask ales, pub grub and a small outdoor area where the homeless used to gather during the Thatcher era. The problem was “solved” by building the IMAX cinema over the “bullring” where the homeless used to sleep!

This post will explain the significance of our famous and historic starting point. Thanks to its location on a bend in the river, the views from Waterloo Bridge are amongst the best in London. The first bridge on the site was designed by John Rennie and opened in 1817. Paintings of the bridge were created by the French Impressionist Claude Monet and the English Romantic John Constable.

London County Council decided to demolish the bridge and replace it with a new structure designed by Sir Giles Gilbert Scott. The new bridge was not fully completed until 1945. Due to the war, the workforce was largely female and it is still referred to as “the Ladies’ Bridge”.

“After the Lunch”, a poem by Wendy Cope about two lovers parting on Waterloo Bridge, now forms the lyric of the song “Waterloo Bridge” by Jools Holland and Louise Marshall.

The bridge features in scenes at the beginning and end of the film Alfie (1966), starring Michael Caine. In the final scene of the film the title character is seen crossing the bridge followed by a stray dog.

The song “Waterloo Sunset” by The Kinks tells of living in London and watching life from Waterloo Bridge.

Georgi Markov, the Bulgarian dissident, was assassinated on Waterloo Bridge on 7 September 1978 by the Bulgarian secret police, using a pellet containing ricin, fired into his leg from an umbrella.

Mention “Waterloo” and I always think of Buster Edwards, the great train robber, released from prison in 1975, he ran a flower stall outside Waterloo station until his death in 1994. I would often see him as I frequently drove along Waterloo Road.

But it is the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest that made Waterloo most famous:

Abba’s “Waterloo” was written specifically for Eurovision, the original title of the song was “Honey Pie” and was originally written with simultaneous rock and jazz beats. “Waterloo” is about a woman who “surrenders” to a man and promises to love him, referencing Napoleon’s surrender in 1815; which leads on to the other meaning of “Waterloo”:

The Battle of Waterloo was fought on Sunday, 18 June 1815. The French army of Napoleon Bonaparte was defeated by two armies; one British-led by the Duke of Wellington, and the other under the Prussian Prince of Wahlstatt, Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher. The defeat at Waterloo ended Napoleon’s rule who was exiled to Saint Helena, and Louis XVIII was restored to the throne of France.

Despite previous defeats, France had been the dominant power in Europe since the reign of Charlemagne (800 – 814). Waterloo changed that forever, European revolution was suppressed and the reactionary forces prevailed, resulting in the establishment of a German confederation out of the former Holy Roman Empire, and the centre of European power shifting permanently to the east. Having so carelessly lost its first empire in America, Britain was given the opportunity to build another. Waterloo really did change the world.

There is a darker side to the aftermath of Waterloo, the teeth of tens of thousands of dead soldiers were pulled out with pliers by surviving troops, locals and scavengers from Britain. They were used as dentures – known as “Waterloo Teeth”.

Then, when the bodies had decomposed, the bones of both the men and horses were removed and shipped to Hull, then on to bone-grinders in Doncaster, before being sold as fertiliser to Yorkshire farmers. When you walk the pathways of Yorkshire, tread softy, for you tread on British heroes.

Well, after that short history lesson, you will be gasping for a pint, so let’s get started! I’ve defined a pub or bar as somewhere you can get into for free and can buy tap beer in a pint glass without having to order food. I’ve omitted some back-packer’s hostel pubs, soulless hotel lounge bars, and generic chain bars, but otherwise this is a comprehensive collection of every Thames side pub and bar in London. I’ve used the north / south circular to define London, bisecting the River Thames at Woolwich in the east and Kew in the west, this gives us four epic pub crawls, all radiating from Waterloo Bridge. I’ll be post each separately and not only will I lead you from pub to pub, I’ll also act as your tour guide and draw your attention to points of interest as we pass them:

1. The north bank of the Thames, eastwards towards Essex
2. The south bank of the Thames, eastwards towards Kent
3. The north bank of the Thames, westwards towards Middlesex
4. The south bank of the Thames, westwards towards Surrey

“ The old river in its broad reach rested unruffled at the decline of day, after ages of good service done to the race that peopled its banks, spread out in the tranquil dignity of a waterway leading to the uttermost ends of the earth.”

Heart of Darkness

“It was a real choice mission, and when it was over, I never wanted another.”

Apocalypse Now

 

The mother of all pub crawls – a London beer drinker’s apocalypse

The number of pubs in London has fallen by more than a quarter in the last fifteen years. Two London boroughs have lost more than half their pubs since 2001: Barking and Dagenham, which has lost 56 per cent, and Newham, which has lost 52 per cent. In total, the number of pubs in the capital decreased from 4,835 to 3,615 between 2001 and 2016, a decline of 1,220 at a rate of 81 pubs a year. There is now only one pub left on the Old Kent Road – The Lord Nelson – at number 386. The famous Thomas à Becket at number 320 is now a South American disco restaurant and the infamous Henry Cooper at number 516, next door to where I once worked, is now a dodgy nightclub. So, come on London, use them or lose them!

There are already too many London pub guides and blogs, so this one needs to be different. Focussing on Thames-side pubs and bars, my aim is to take you on more than just a pub crawl, this is going to be an exploratory journey along the Thames and through your mind, during which you will not only find beer and London’s river but maybe yourself.

My first post will tell you a bit about London and the Thames in general, whilst the second will give you a more detailed account of Waterloo and its history. Then in my third post we will embark on our journey.

It was Mark Twain who first described London as “a collection of villages”. Apart from being a statement of the obvious, he fails to acknowledge that London is so much more than a sum of its parts. Peter Ackroyd understands London better, his book “London: the biography” describes London as a living organism, a concept as old as cities themselves – Plato talked about the city as a corporeal body. If London’s roads and streets can be considered as veins and arteries, then the River Thames is London’s soul. Peter Ackroyd reckons that the river’s personification, Father Thames “bears a striking resemblance to the tutelary gods of the Nile and the Tiber”.

Gods such as the Roman Tiberinus share the long hair and beard of Father Thames. The Egyptian goddess Isis, linked to the River Nile, also lends her name to parts of the Thames, the sections through Oxford are called The Isis. The name Thames derives from the pre-Celtic idea of tame or teme meaning darkness in the sense of holiness. The Celts called it Tamesis, the Romans, Thamesis and the Saxons, Temes.

On the foreshore of the Thames, just opposite the MI6 headquarters at Vauxhall, some old timbers have been discovered.

Built 3500 years ago in the Bronze Age, the wooden remains of a three metre wide structure were first noticed in 1993. Channel 4’s Time Team investigated the site for a programme shown in January 2002. They concluded that the structure was either a pier or a bridge to a gravel island in the middle of the river. The structure is located at the confluence of three rivers, where the Tyburn enters the Thames from the north and the Effra from the south. The eddies caused by the confluence of these rivers may have formed a gravel island in the middle of the Thames. When the Thames was wider and shallower, this would have been the tidal turning point, the furthest point upstream that tidal flotsam could be found. This would have made it a sacred site for Bronze Age tribes. Around the bridge were found votive offerings of valuable goods to appease the spirits of the river.

The Thames continues to exert influence on Londoners to this day, but before I conclude this point, I need you to read “Heart of Darkness” (1899) by Joseph Conrad, and watch the film, “Apocalypse Now” (1979) by Francis Ford Coppola which adapts Conrad’s story, changing its setting from 19^th century Congo to the 1955 –1975 Vietnam War. Considered to be one of the greatest films ever made, it was selected for preservation in the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being “culturally, historically or aesthetically significant”.

Conrad describes a voyage up the River Congo into the heart of Africa, but starts his narration aboard a boat anchored on the River Thames, at Gravesend. The Thames is portrayed as the beginning of a journey into inner space; a metaphorical investigation into the turbid waters of the human soul and one’s inner spirit. The very last line of the book sees the Thames seeming to lead “into the heart of an immense darkness”.

To conclude, we all need a place where we can find peace. It can be in a church, mosque or temple. It can be the summit of a windswept hill, a quiet forest glade or, for many Londoners, it can be a place by the Thames. But how much more convenient if the place where we can find peace is within our own mind. Herein lies the danger, more dangerous than a 19^th century steamboat voyage up the Congo, more dangerous than a trip up the Mekong River (called Nung in the film) in a PBR navy patrol boat at the height of the Vietnam War, the journey through your mind is the most dangerous journey that you can make. Yes, you might find yourself, but if you don’t like what you find there is no escape, no way back. So, before you join me, just ask yourself this one question:

“ the chance to find yourself. Your own reality — for yourself, not for others — what no other man can ever know.”

Heart of Darkness

 

“There is no way to tell his story without telling my own. And if his story really is a confession, then so is mine.”

Apocalypse Now